Time after time

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It is cliche to say but we as a people need to start living in the moment and not think about what could have or should have been. I never truly understood this concept. I mean honestly, my life up until now has been a ball of anxiety where I lay up at night worried about things I did or did not do years ago. However, since my surgery, I am understanding this concept more and more. I do not know why though. I have created an elaborate conspiracy theory that maybe while under the knife for my gastric bypass surgery, my team of doctors used some ancient Egyptian method of removing my brain through my nose. Ever since the surgery, my anxiety and depression have both been down. My outlook on life has been brighter.

pexels-photo-261577I have theorized about this change in attitude and it goes like this; Prior to surgery, I hated myself because of my size. Now that I am shrinking, I am starting to like myself again. Pretty straightforward right? It is and it makes sense. What confuses me, is how quickly this change has come about. It was almost instantly. Well, once the drugs wore off of course. I came out of the hospital and once I began to see the change I became happier with myself.

Since surgery, my outlook has gotten so much clear and happier. I no longer have a doom and gloom attitude towards life.  I am taking chance. I even went for a long short promotion at work and even got close to getting it. I no longer hate what I do, even working in a call center.

So what is this all about? Why am I rambling about myself? I have been miserable in my life for the last 33 years. What sucks, is that I cannot go back in time and do the things I felt I was not good enough for. I cannot go back and take the chances, have the conversations or any of that. I am not going to get cliche about living in the moment or anything like that because we have all heard and see the quotes. I will say this, take the chances because you do not always get a second chance.

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